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Being a huge fan of Troma and in particular the Toxic Avenger films, I was pleased to hear the news. "Great!" At this point, Lloyd whips out a contract (Troma contracts – all Troma contracts – are about one and a half pages long and basically are similar to deals with Satan, i.e. you get nothing for your property in perpetuity unless Troma somehow gets sued and then you take the brunt of the legal fees) and a pen.
"I need you to write the screenplay."
Wow.
This is it, my moment the sun, my chance to secure a place in the pantheon of film history! I grab the pen and prepare to sign my life away to the Toxic Avenger.
"Um, Lloyd."
"Yes?"
"Lloyd, this contract says I have to deliver a completed script in two weeks."
"Right. I've got some ideas: I want a good Toxie and an Evil Toxie, a good Kabukiman and an evil Kabukiman, plastic surgery, abortion issues, and a Columbine school shootout."
"But, Lloyd, I'm going on my honeymoon tomorrow. I'll be gone for a week."
"No problem. All we need is a beginning, middle, and an end. You can do it."
With that, I signed the contract. The next day I left for my honeymoon. A lot of the photos from the trip involve me sitting on a beautiful beach with my face buried in a notebook.
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<a href= "content.html">Citizen Toxie</a>
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