The Origin of the Hockey Mask!

I’m a sucker for Jason. You know, the mama’s boy elephant man-looking killer-cum-zombie of the Friday the 13th series. Although I personally would’ve taken the whole series in a different direction, I’ve got an extremely soft spot for installments one through five. And I may be losing some folks by saying it, but Part 3 in 3D is my favorite one of the bunch.

A no-bones slaughterfest with absolutely minimal characterization and plot development, F13 Part 3 is the pure essence of a Jason flick distilled into a brief 96 minute capsule. A handful of utterly forgettable victims comes to Crystal Lake for vacation. On the way to their cabin, they pass the remains of the victims from Part 2 being loaded into meat wagons. Does this fateful coincidence cause our hapless partygoers to exercise more caution (considering the fact that the killer hasn’t been caught yet)? Hell no! Like most teens (and we’re referring to the characters, not the actors that portray them) in these movies, our crew wants to rock and roll all night/party every day. You’ve got the virginal heroine, the portly loser/ prankster (C’mon, Shelley, cut it out! That’s not funny! Shelley? Is that you - ACHHHHH! ), the "stoner" couple (as evidenced by their rheumy gazes and Chong headbands), and the usual band of fornicating drinkers. A new - and totally wasted - development in this installment is the introduction of a biker gang (if you can call three people in Flashdance clothes a biker gang)!

The whole flimsy excuse for a film rests upon the "3D" technology which - sadly - is absent from the video and laser disc release. Characters make countless stilted movements in order to poke things into the lens. Clothesline poles, popcorn, juggled apples, yo-yos, and of course the handle of every farm implement that winds up sticking out of a victim’s skull or gut. The best gags are a spear gun flying at the screen and a scene where Jason squeezes a guy’s head until his eyeball pops out in 3D!

Campers arrive, they get picked off one by one, and the virgin kills Jason (until the next film, anyway). As I said before, this is pure F13. There’s even a double shock "Jason’s Mom comes out of the pond at the end . . . was it all a dream?" ending, which adds more confusion to the already hokey "legend of Crystal Lake." Apparently another "shocker" ending had Jason decapitating the surviving virgin . . . but it was all a dream anyway, so what does it matter which end they went with?

Ably directed by genre veteran Steve Miner (who also helmed F13 2, House, Warlock, Halloween: H20 and - gasp! The horror! - Soul Man), F13 Part 3 delivers exactly what you expect. No more, no less.

Every time I see Friday the 13th Part 3 I walk away thinking one thing: We need more 3D movies! Yeah, I know that they give most people headaches, but SO WHAT? This is a retro tech that needs to be re-ushered in for a new generation of freaks . . . and I want to see more 3D!!!!!

Still, F13 3 is worth watching even without the gimmick. Brainless, painless fun - the ultimate film for a little homemade Mystery Science Theater 3000 dinner party. And if the 3D isn't enough of a draw, this installment of the series also has the origin of the infamous hockey mask!

- Editor X