The Night He Came Home for the 7th Time

How appropriate that it would fall upon the folks at Miramax/Dimension to pay tribute to what is no doubt the most enduring, influential horror film of the last 20 years. After all, it was Bob Weinsteinand co. who revived the teen horror film for 90's mainstream audiences in a big way with Scream and its sequel. And besides, the studio had a lot to atone for by having previously released Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers, which earns my vote as the worst horror film of the decade. And no, Myers-cronies, I haven't seen the allegedly "brilliant" director's cut bootleg.

It's a pity they were so cheap about it. John Carpenter had apparently seriously considered assuming the directorial helm, but declined after he was offered a paltry budget and salary. Instead, most of the cash (approx. 100 times the cost of the original!) went to the ad campaign and to returning "Scream Queen" Jamie Lee Curtis, who is said to have been the most instrumental in revisiting her character and restoring a veneer of "class" to the series. The sequel was officially announced in the trades as Halloween 7: The Revenge Of Laurie Strode, and immediately, sparks began to fly.

While fan-boys squabbled over the then-rumored title H20 (in a hearty warm up for The Phantom Menace controversy, I suppose), I managed to score a copy of the second draft screenplay by Robert Zappia, and found it to be irredeemably awful. Based on an outline by Scream scribe Kevin Williamson, the shoddy, derivative marathon of cliches was a scant improvement on the lame Halloweens 4, 5, or 6 it was promised to better. Worse, it was often ludicrous: the Shape can access the Internet. The requisite useless detective is always ten steps behind on Myer's trail. At the climactic pool party, the masked one dispatches students with the aid of -get this--a cafeteria meat slicer.

Mimics Matthew Greenburg's revisions pruned the pool shenanigans and the useless private eye. Laurie and Michael's final confrontation is now played silently after a surprising and satisfying climactic move by Laurie to purge her relentless sibling from her life forever. But the lingering problem with H20 is that for all of its honorable aspirations to be "tasteful" and non-exploitive, it ends up being a very TAME film, barely rising above the level of a Movie Of The Week. You know something's wrong when a horror film earns an "Adult Accompaniment" rating (14 years and older can get in unattended) in my home province of slasher-phobic Ontario!

Fans will find a lot to cheer in the sequel's casting and nods to the original: H20 opens with Michael Myers once again stealing Nurse Chamber's vehicle after killing her, raiding her files on Laurie Strode, and heading off to Summer Glen, California. There, 40ish Kerrie Tate is the headmistress of the Hillcrest Academy. It's "Halloween", and the troubled, alcoholic Kerrie starts to see the pasty-faced Michael Myers everywhere. She eventually admits to boyfriend Will Brennan that she is in fact, Laurie Strode, survivor of the infamous Myers murders, which have become an urban legend. Having faked her death with the help of a witness relocation program, Kerrie/Laurie still fears each October 31 that brother Michael will come for her and her 17-year old son John. Night falls, and Michael finds his way onto the private grounds, where he pursues John and his friends. Eventually, Laurie and Will come face to face with the seemingly unstoppable maniac, who gives chase and dispatches several key players along the way. Having the opportunity to flee with her son, Laurie instead turns back to face her demon. What follows is a mano-a-mano duel in which Laurie unleashes decades of pent-up fear and rage that might have Sigourney Weaver taking a few pointers.

The film is doomed from the outset with the tragic loss of Donald Pleasance's Sam Loomis character. Detective Loomis functioned as both a humorous Greek Chorus and the audiences' anchor in reality, and with nothing else going on in H20's scant 85 minute running time BUT the Shape vs. Laurie and her kid, things get repetitious very fast. Which would all be fine and well if the scenes were truly chilling, but they're not. Director Steve Miner's chief means of generating terror consists of keeping the camera close on an actor and crank up the music when something - usually a hand - pops into frame.

Overall, H20 is Curtis' movie. She infuses Laurie with a broken quality and fierce intelligence that's more memorable than any of the other half-dozen murders. Adam Arkin, looking more and more like George Clooney's apple-cheeked twin brother, is totally perfunctory as Tate's dead-meat-boyfriend. I found the teens to be a shrill, annoying bunch, with grumpy lead Josh Hartnett totally interchangeable with Disturbing Behavior's James Marsden. Janet Leigh has fun with a brief cameo, reuniting her with daughter Jamie for the first time since Carpenter's 1980 gem The Fog.

Carpenter said in an interview that he sold off his rights to the Halloween franchise because he felt there was nothing more to tell. I believed him at the time, but having seen H20, I now disagree. Curtis's performance convinces me that the concept of Laurie Strode, 20 years later, has some genuine substance and potential. It's just too bad that this attempt took the safe and easy road. Halloween existed for a singular purpose: to scare audiences silly. I'm not sure WHAT this new film is trying to do.

Besides, they never could get that damn Captain Kirk mask right after Halloween 2. . .

- Maxx Renn