Moon, Tsui, We Forgive You

The reason that classical music is so revered in Western society is that we only really hear the good stuff. Think about it--there was probably as much or more crap music produced back in the heady days of Mozart and Rachmaninoff as there was today, but the bad stuff just didn't make it down through the ages. This also is why many Americans have a fetish for Hong Kong as a movie capital, because, until recently, all we've seen is the best stuff: the signature pieces of people like John Woo, Jet Li, and Jackie Chan.

But now Tai Seng Video is bringing in Hong Kong Films by the literal boatload, we're starting to see the crap along with all the good stuff they've imported, and, what's more, in the grand tradition of cynical distributors anywhere, they're pushing the bad stuff like all hell. Kickboxer's Tears is the first of Tai Seng's "Les Femmes Fatales" three pack marketing ploy, and, while I'm glad they got the French grammar in the title right, I wish they could have utilized the linguistics on better movies, because having seen Tears, I have absolutely no desire to either of the other two.

It's difficult to decide where to begin given the numerous opportunities to rag on this flick. There's the interminable kickboxing scene at the beginning, apparently filmed in slower than real time, in which the most prominent thing on screen is not the kickboxers, the spectators, or even the ref, but the rope. There's the dubbing which incorporates at least three different dialects of English, including Canadian, Australian, and something out of the American South by way of Oxford. The film also seems to take place in a version of Hong Kong where anyone can find anyone else if it is necessary to further the story, since many of the characters simply appear at the house/private quarters/restaurant/family shrine of other characters without justification or any real reason. Also, just a personal pet peeve of mine, the attempt at humor in the middle of a funeral scene just didn't work particularly well.

The nominal plot involves the death of a kickboxer, his sister's search for revenge, the cousin of the person she kills search for revenge, and a big-ass gunfight that breaks out for indeterminate reasons. The villain is some guy who apparently hates his wife/mistress/whatever and all his friends and is willing to let them all get wasted by the hero, the plucky kung-fu chick Moon Lee, while he attempts to knock off her friends. I think. I actually liked Moon in this, but she only gets to shine in one scene, the movie's only well-choreographed fight, in which, at one point, she holds a man down on a slide by doing splits over him while fighting off two others. Otherwise, though, her considerable talents were pretty much flushed down the old Hong Kong sewer. The same can be said for the director, Tsui Hark, who even in really horrible movies (Knock Off, Double Team) has managed to produce some interesting visuals and cool fight scenes. Our man Tsui just doesn't deliver on this one. I looked at what else he was doing in 1992, and he was producing, directing, writing, or starring in five other movies at the time--including Once Upon a Time In China II and the bizarre Wicked City--so I guess he was overworked and something had to give. I'm glad that both Moon and Tsui were able to do movies other than this one and that this isn't representative of their best work.

There's not much more to say about the film, but since this is a one Santo mask movie--meaning that the box is better than the film--it's only fair that I critique the box. As opposed to most Tai Seng video covers, this one was fairly good. By using a similar font treatment and color scheme for all three of the femmes fatales movies they created an effective presentation of the three as a unit. Furthermore, the use of the heavily stroked avant-guard font, as well as the layered outlined text behind the main title made a kind of hip main title area and the limited use of photos helped further the minimalist goal of the box. All in all the box art was very effective. I wish the same could be said for the movie.