Who Rules the Beaches?

This 1987 feature is a Troma oddity in many ways. Released at the height of their Toxic Avenger popularity, the title alone was enough to garner lots of interest in the rental field . . .

Los Angeles. Sometime in the not-too-distant future. A massive earthquake has left millions homeless. Anarchy reigns. The cops are nowhere to be found. The beaches become a battle zone as the various renegade surfer gangs vie for control of the waves. And none of the gangs is as powerful or threatening as the Surf Nazis.

Led by a effeminate leader named (naturally) Adolph, the Surf Nazis terrorize the civilian populace while trying to convince the other surf gangs to unite "under the sign of the swastika." When the other gangs refuse to bow to the Surf Nazis, a turf war breaks out. During the ensuing melee, "good guy" Leroy is murdered by the Nazis.

Big mistake. Because Leroy’s mama is a take-no-crap, motorcycle- riding hunk-o- avenging woman. In the end, it’s the cardigan-ed mama that ends the Surf Nazis’ reign of terror.

Sounds good enough on paper, right? A very Troma story line. And it was shot on a Troma budget with Troma-caliber bad acting (except for Bobbie "fanged boobs in Mausoleum" Breese who delivers a hysterical performance as "Smeg’s Mom"). The look of Surf Nazis Must Die is consistent and well-shot, punctuated by some very filmic moments and tight editing. The surfing footage (of which there is probably a bit too much) is very nicely done. Overall, I’d call Surf Nazis Must Die one of Troma’s most technically excellent films.

So why does it suck?

This is the question I asked myself over and over as I watched the new director’s cut (available at finer retail shops for a measly $15 or so). If the film looks good and sounds good and has a Troma-tic concept, why don’t I like it?

I would say pacing for one thing. The new cut of the film has about ten minutes of extra footage, but it could’ve stood to have at least twenty cut out. My primary problem with Surf Nazis, however, is the fact that it actually takes itself seriously! A low budget film is more acceptable when done in the Lloyd Kaufman signature (self-deprecating, in-your-face, anything for a reaction) style of filmmaking. Kabukiman is a classic not due to the concept, but because the film goes to any extreme to please/disgust/titillate the audience. Surf Nazis Must Die is almost too close to an actual high-concept Hollywood film (big mama defeats fascist post-apocalypse surfers). While it sounds and looks like a comedy at first glance, it’s just a cheaply-made drama with lots of bad actors delivering trite speeches about the birth of a surfing Reich.

Hey, we can’t really blame Troma for Surf Nazis Must Die. Director Peter George (obviously a decent film maker, but lacking the Troma sense of humor) shot and assembled the film as a project before Troma’s involvement. Although it appears to emulate the "anything goes" spirit of a Class of Nuke ‘Em High film, the most Tromatic elements of Surf Nazis are the title and snazzy box art.

Surf Nazis suffers because it takes itself too seriously thereby missing the Troma mark. BUT I must commend Troma for their "Signature Series" of director’s cut re-releases. Chock full of cool previews and packaged in a classy manner (for Troma anyway), they are priced for personal purchase at about $15.00 apiece.

- Punky McScrubb